Dreams....

DEAR MODS COMPENSATING FOR THE LACK OF CONTROL IN THEIR OWN LIVES, PLEASE READ THE WHOLE STORY BEFORE LETTING YOUR E-PEEN HIT THE DELETE BUTTON.

A couple nights ago, I had a dream. It started out normalish. I was watching TV at my Grandmother's house, then I had to go the bathroom. For some reason, I went to the upstairs bathroom. This is what I remember clearly. I won't be posting anything I don't remember clearly so if there are parts that don't make sense about how I got to them, that's why. I don't remember them clearly.

So into the bathroom I walk. Turn on the light, there's a women lying on the floor. Her back is facing me and her knees are bent so she could fit between counter and washing machine (the room is a rectangle where the sides are longer than the top and bottom, imagine the entrance at the bottom of the rectangle). She's lying on her side with her head on the left closer to the bottom of the counter. Her curly long brown hair is all in disarray. For some reason, without looking at her face, I know who she is. She's Sarah from the Gregory Brothers of Auto Tune the News fame.

I turnaround and close the door behind. Its strange because I usually close the door without having to turn around and just do it with the back of my hand. I walk up to her and kick her across the floor until she hits the tub. They aren't violent kicks, more like a way you'd roll a log out of the way.

Next thing I remember, I'm reading the comics of the newspaper, even though I didn't bring anything in there with me. She's standing to my north west. Her hair is now in some sort of upward hairstyle like she has in some of her videos. She's wearing a some sort of tie die tank top.

"Hey there" she says

"Yo sup?" I respond

Next part is fuzzy. I don't remember the specifics, but I remember it was just small talk. She doesn't even ask what she's doing here in my grandmother's upstairs bathroom or even seem to be startled at all.

I remember getting up, newspaper has disappeared from my hand somehow.

"Is my penis big enough? What size is is?" I saw holding my somehow magically excited member. How this happened I have no idea.

"Hmmm.... Average size I'd say"

At this point, a feeling of disappointment rushes through me. She continues.

"But, it doesn't mean I didn't love it...." she says.

As she is saying this, she makes a face. Its this face that is preventing me from sleeping. It was almost a mix of embarrassment, shyness and ectasy. Its like she was trying to downplay how much she was turned on by it or something. I dunno what she was portraying exactly, but it was the way she was expressing it that is killing me. It sends this feeling through my stomach, through my lungs and just keeps me awake. More on this when I'm done.

More stuff happens, don't remember. We set up a date somehow. She's know wearing a black sweater. Sunday, 8 o clock at my house then we would go out. She starts to leave.

"Wait, before you go, can I touch your nipple?" Again, more strange behavior.

"What?! NO!!!" She put her hands on her hips and looks at me. She doesn't look geniuenly offended, almost like she's playing.

"C'mon... please..?"

"Fine.. then can I go?"

"Yeah yeah sure"

She lifts up her sweater. She's not wearing a bra. Out come these boobs, the best boobs I think I've ever seen. Her nipples were perfectly matched in terms of scale they should be for that size. They must have been CC (yeah not big, but I don't really like big) for sure. She smiles and moves closer. I move my hand over her boob, seems somewhat wet. I dunno what it was, probably sweat. I start to move the middle of my thumb over her nipple and that's where the dream ends.

Ever since then, I've had that dream 4 times. Each time going exactly the same way. It feels more and more real everytime I have it. I can feel the paper in my hands, the toilet seat and even the door when I open it. The last time, I eve smelled the perfume she was wearing. I haven't told anybody about it, its just been bottled up inside of me.

The feeling I get from imagining her face at that moment I mentioned earlier is what drives me crazy. Its a feeling of rage, of calm, of I don't know. It makes me want to punch my wall and just fall down on my knees at the same time. I have never felt this before ever in my life. Even as a boy, I never felt an emotion this strongly. There was other dream, but that's another story for another time, it was shorter, but I experienced a similar feeling, but that one wasn't as strong.

Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there, maybe even clear my mind. Keeping this bottled up might be what was really making this situation worse. Maybe the dream will stop, maybe it won't, I won't know until tonight.

Thanks.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

Shit feels weird when you have the same dream multiple times.

EvanErgo wrote:FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

Shit feels weird when you have the same dream multiple times.

I dunno. My life seems to have lost all functionality. My overall interest level is 0. Its like some sort of depression or something. I think I need to have an overdose of painkillers and I'll be back to my old self soon.

Hmmm, have you seen the facial expression in real life before? Fight back the emotions with manly muscles bro.

I still have a bottle of hydrocodone or something like that but it makes me sick =/

EvanErgo wrote:Hmmm, have you seen the facial expression in real life before? Fight back the emotions with manly muscles bro.

I still have a bottle of hydrocodone or something like that but it makes me sick =/

I can't really equate the face to anything. I can picture it clearly in my head and it looks like something that is naturally done IRL. Its almost a smile, but I wouldn't really describe it as a smile.

Also, I don't even have the willingness to fight back the emotions. This has completely zapped any motivation to do anything.

I have lucid dreams probably 5 times a night. I can control all that shit.

Patty wrote:I have lucid dreams probably 5 times a night. I can control all that shit.

I personally never had a dream where I had "control" per se, but I have had dreams like this one where it feels like all the stuff is actually happening. I dunno if I should post another similar dream I had prior to this one in my late teen years.

That's probably a bad idea.

Patty wrote:That's probably a bad idea.

Surprisingly, its more tame than this one and also a lot shorter. Here it is (or at least the main chunk that I remember) There is also no talking or dialogue at all. Not because I don't remember, but only because none went on:

I walk into a V or L shaped room. Imagine the bottom of the V or the corner of the L is where the entrance is. It seems to be an unfinished room and at near the top of the building. Possibly a skyscraper because I can hear the wind blowing outside. Walls are covered in the plastic tarp type stuff except the inner walls which are pure white. There are 2 "doorways" at the end both "paths" that lead to other unfinished room. They have no doors which is why I say this. The whole floor that I'm on can't be too big because I can see the other corner from where I'm standing. There is random piles of bricks, construction lights that are on and what seems to be a shoulder high wall (probably in that shape because my brain is remembering it from a video game. Actually, this whole area seems to be from a video game, but no particular one).

Anyway, I enter the room. I'm carrying a shotgun. I remember it as a SPAS-12 w/ the stock unfolded and the hook also unfolded but not wrapped around my arm. It could have been any tube fed, black semi auto shotgun with a folding stock, but I clearly remember the hook so it must have been a SPAS. There are people in the room. They are wearing generic black bad guy clothing. I start firing. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!! I don't remember the exact details of the fire fight, I just remember the end.

I'm going around inspecting the corpses. I walk up to guy guy still breathing, point a pistol at his head and finish him off. I don't see him die because I turned my head. The pistol appears to be some sort of weird hybrid between a Glock and a SIG. It seems to have a Glock grip with the slide is SIG. I shoot at another guy laying on his back still breathing from about 10 feet away. Then I notice something, someone lying down in what seems to be a yellow jumpsuit. It kinda looked like the yellow jumpsuit Uma Thurman wore in Kill Bill Vol. 1, but it wasn't leather. It was more like, Zinnia Gold (5th color in the 2nd column). It had a hood, but no strings to tighten the hood. It also was wearing matching pants in the same color. I couldn't tell you the shape, size, style or tightness of the pants because I don't remember that, only that they were the same color.

Anyway, I squat over its chest (I dunno why I squatted but that's what happened) and put the gun to its head. I then see it, its a women. She has blond hair in long pigtails on both sides of her head. Her facial features I don't remember exactly, but they were in a similar expression as those in my current dream. I look down at her lips and back up to her eyes. Her eyes look at me telling me she wants it. We kiss. I feel a feeling similar to the one in my current dream as well, but only when we kiss. It wasn't a sloppy kiss, we just use our lips. She is just as much a participant in the kiss as I am. I don't move my head and she doesn't move her's. The gun is still to her head, I can hear myself pulling the trigger. The dream ends before the trigger is pulled all the way back.

This dream also repeated itself the following night but it didn't have the same emotion the second time around. I got over it and went on with my life. Now it seems, something has come back, except stronger. I don't know what to do. I'm just in a constant state of lack on interest like depression but nobody seems to notice. Video games are irrelevant, TV is irrelevant and even guns are irrelevant. I went to my Grandmother's and went into the upstairs bathroom to see if that would help but nothing changed.

Anyway, it feels better to let all the dreams out because I've never told them to anyone before. This along with my current one are probably one of my most "realistic" dreams in terms of actually feeling all the actions going on.

Thanks for reading.

Patty wrote:I have lucid dreams probably 5 times a night. I can control all that shit.

Yeah, Lucid dreaming is the greatest. I used to have them all the time when I was younger, but I probably only have them once a week now.

OT: This is weird. I used to have recurring dreams when I was a kid, but that was after my sister died and so I guess it was my sub-conscious working overtime.
Have you had anything catastrophic that has happened to you lately? I find I dream a lot more when something bad happens to me. Though I don't know about the recurrence of the dream or why it has such an emotional impact on you. Maybe you should see a dream therapist. Or just a therapist. long feelings of apathy or depression aren't very good for you (obviously), but as we get deeper into winter, it's probably not the best to dwell on them.
Just don't off yourself. Seriously.

L4MB wrote:

Patty wrote:I have lucid dreams probably 5 times a night. I can control all that shit.

Yeah, Lucid dreaming is the greatest. I used to have them all the time when I was younger, but I probably only have them once a week now.

I don't dream often. Maybe 3 times a year is what I can remember.

Monkey...that's crazy.

Patty wrote:Monkey...that's crazy.

My dreams or lack of dreams?

L4MB wrote:OT: This is weird. I used to have recurring dreams when I was a kid, but that was after my sister died and so I guess it was my sub-conscious working overtime.
Have you had anything catastrophic that has happened to you lately? I find I dream a lot more when something bad happens to me. Though I don't know about the recurrence of the dream or why it has such an emotional impact on you. Maybe you should see a dream therapist. Or just a therapist. long feelings of apathy or depression aren't very good for you (obviously), but as we get deeper into winter, it's probably not the best to dwell on them.
Just don't off yourself. Seriously.

Nothing too serious. My grandfather passed away last year and we were pretty close (not in the gay Hardline and his fleshlight way) but he's not in any of my dreams. I dunno what it is that might have happened exactly. Maybe its the weather, maybe its just random stress manifesting itself as this dream. Maybe some things in the dream mean something, maybe they don't. As for seeing a therapist, I'm not interested because as much as they are professionals, I'm not willing to fork over the dough.

If I were to off myself, I'd need at least a family of clowns, Godzilla, a 1978 Chevy Impala and a basket of shovels. Until I get all those things, I don't plan on offing myself.

Yeah, they're pretty pricey, and I don't think they are necessary in every situation. I wasn't implying that I think you are crazy or anything.
Good to hear about your outlandish requirements for suicide.

L4MB wrote:Yeah, they're pretty pricey, and I don't think they are necessary in every situation. I wasn't implying that I think you are crazy or anything.
Good to hear about your outlandish requirements for suicide.

Nah, I'm fine with people thinking I'm crazy since I am criminally insane. As for the suicide requirements, it'd also have to be turned into a Broadway musical and a feature length movie starring Owen Wilson as me and Ben Stiller as my wife and Katie Holmes as my cousin.

awesome dreams

I...... Had a dream.

Another thing that I can't figure out is why it was Sarah from the Gregory Brothers? I'm not "attracted" to her like I am to other women and I know that she's already married to one of the Gregory Brothers (the one that doesn't have a beard or glasses). Why my subconscious chose her will always be a mystery.

Next time throw a banana at her. That stopped all my dreams about girls.

I can barely ever remember my dreams. I might be able to just when I wake up, but when I try to recal it it slips away.

Wsxdas wrote:Next time throw a banana at her. That stopped all my dreams about girls.

Can't because I have 0 control in the dream. It's like an amusement park ride.

ginga-ninja wrote:I can barely ever remember my dreams. I might be able to just when I wake up, but when I try to recal it it slips away.

I wish I could do that.

I couldn't tell you any of the dreams I've had in the last few days.

Happened again tonight. Why won't it go away?

Monkey....you have issues.