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15 Classes of gamertags

Post  §cIoN on Thu Sep 09, 2010 4:58 pm

Ok well in my search for gamertag ideas, I found an article that devides the most common types of gamertags into 15 classes.
I found it quite interesting, so I figured I'd share it. Smile

(I'll just copy and paste it rather than post the link. cuz it was in 3 parts)


#15 the Star wars Class:


These gamers are still in love with Star Wars. And most of them are more in love with Darth Vader. (I can’t really imagine Vader getting fired up for xboxlive.) I think Chewbacca comes in a close second place. But you find variants across the board, involving: the Sith, the Jedi, Boba Fett, etc.
Just the other day I saw something like Chewbocka’s Rage.

To tell you the truth, I’d like to flush all Star Wars-related material down the crapper, except for The Empire Strikes Back. I think Randall got it exactly right in Clerks.



#14 the asians:

Some gamers are Asian. That’s cool, of course.

Some gamers are not Asian but want to appear to be Asian by having an Asian-sounding gamertag. (I bet most of them are caucasian males with ponytails.)

The jury is out as to whether these turkeys are actually cool.

I’m betting that these gamers have a deep personal commitment to studying Asian cultures. And by “Asian cultures” I mean “anime.” So, they cook up these gamertags either by googling an Asian-sounding name and mxing and matching, or they make up one out of thin air by using what they believe are Asian-sounding syllables. Hid3ki ShuRok3N74, K4tsumoto Dr4Gon, RyU NObUn4ga23, Itami Hodoki etc.

Now, many of the gamers in this kind are actually fascinated with Japanese culture–particularly ancient, Japanese, miltary history. This is where you get the ninjas: s1L3Nt N1nJ4, bUd_N1Nj4, You also get the samurai, the shoguns, etc.

For giggles, ask these dudes whether they are, in fact, Asian. Hilarity will ensue.



#13 the Greeks and the Romans:

Yeah, I saw Gladiator, too. It was a great movie. That Maximus guy sure is tough. Some gamers have latched on to it and have decided to “Latinize” their gamertags. These guys might be liberals arts majors or the guys who discovered their next Halloween costume when they saw 300. (That costume was about as successful as the Sega Saturn or your recent attempt to play Wii Fit for longer than two days…) You will find a lot of “us” endings with these grand historians:AUgUsTiN3uS, C0MMoDus420, D1LDoNius, MaximusToolus,etc.

Speaking of the Greeks, it is odd that I don’t see as many fraternity shout-outs online as a I would expect. After all, dudes in fraternities fall into the prime demographic of video gamers. Did a few guys attempt to represent TKE and find out it just wasn’t worth it?

Yeah, I’ve taken Latin, and I think the Greeks and the Romans were kinda cool. But they didn’t have XBOX 360, PS3 or Wii. So, if you want to be a Greek or Roman so badly, kill your video game console with a battle axe.



#12: the “Your” class:

The gamers in this class of gamertags loves to come up with something clever that fits the in-game dialogues. Let’s say you’re playing Halo 3, and you get killed. Your game dialogue would say: “YOUR SIN killed you.” These guys are cousins of the gothic class, sometimes plugging in dark religious themes. YOUR BURDEN, YOUR STD, YOUR DAD, YOUR MOM, etc.

Also in this class are the abusers of the contraction: XxxYour Just MadxxX. These skipped school on that one day where teachers discuss that ever-so-
elusive bit of punctuation: the apostrophe. They were probably playing Goldeneye–and as Oddjob–instead.

There’s really not much to say about this class, except that these gamertags are prevalent enough to warrant putting them in here. Beyond that, these
gamertags are about as clever as those in the Ralph Wiggum and Brick Tamland class. Since they’re so close, they get the same picture.



#11: the Coffee Shop class:

These gamers are aloof, sophisticated, clever–or so their blase voices would make them seem. They might have read a little Freud, a little “Nitskey” or “Dezcartays” and probably Catcher in the Rye. They love lattes during the day and their small liberal-arts schools all the time. They’re hipsters that play Call of Duty.

But bear in mind, they still think they can whomp you on Killzone or Halo. They’re serious gamers, and they still put on the headset. They also share traits with the Gothic class and the Bud Smoker class. They probably have friends in the Romans and Greeks and “Asians.”

These gamers will incorporate arcane references to their pet concepts from their sophomore-year humanities class. XxxNeuroT1caxxX, PARADOX, X_F4LL4CY_X, D4rK MoB1US, uB3rPwN3r, UnMoV3DMoV3R.

They love to juxtapose adjectives and nouns, and anything that reeks of logical or physical impossibility is definitely their gig. The nouns, of course, have to be something that is awe-inspiring. In the end, what this gamer is trying to say that his gaming is miraculous. (And I’m sure it is….) So, here you get the S1L3nT StoRm, F4LL3N_ANgel897, ORGAN1ZEDKAOS, etc.

As mentioned earlier, they are also prone to speaking very slowly in a monotone voice. This is to convey their stoic attitude; you can’t get to them. These guys were torn between having their coffee-shop-class gamertag and one from a “bulls-eye” class. They are beyond cousins. These classes are more
like brothers.

The best way to deal with these bundles of joy is probably just to mute them. The mere sound of their voices alone will make you beg for a padded cell and you certainly don’t need to hear the “I’m unaffected” attitude oozing from them. Maybe after you PWN them, send them a little note telling them that you love them. That will certainly make them cringe.


#10: the Mobster class:


You have HITMAN79494, MaF1AKILL3r, and GANGSTA_LIVIN. They’ve thrown justice to the wind, and they are proclaiming to the world their intimate knowledge
of the underworld of crime. They’ve been around the block, and are supposedly familiar with the elegant universe of sawed-off shotguns, drug dealing, extortion, larceny, money laundering, and giving a guy a pair of concrete flippers “to send him swimmin’ with the fishies”–you know, the good ol’ “thug life.” (I’ve always been impressed by their time management skills. So many hours of video games and still time to run an intricate crime syndicate? Wow, tHugGLife420, you are Don Corleone to a new level. The Halo 3 level. And don’t forget the running from the FBI, the ATF, and the local police. Gotta be able to do that, too.)



#9: the pastry class:


You have mUFF1nM4N99, DR WAFFLES, fUNkyDonut76. I don’t really know what the hell is going on with this class, to tell you the truth. All I know is, I see far more gamertags with “waffle” in them than I ever expected. It baffles the mind.



#8: the Gothic class:

A lot of this involves bringing in loose religious themes and giving them what ordinary people would call a “heavy metal” twist. Many of these gamertags could mistaken for the titles of metal albums. F4LL3N_ANgel897, H3LLSGUNN3r, SINS REAVER7. This class is hardcore in an otherworldly way. They have transcended the “skillz” of the mafia kind, going with something more “elemental.” Maybe you combine this with the “bulls-eye” class: GODSsN1per7749. (They are more likely to listen to nu-metal than hip-hop or rap.) They might resort to Greek myths or to eastern religions to enhance the obscurity/mystical nature of the gamertag: sH1vA_r34p3r, tHoRs_H4MM3r, etc. Karma would qualify for this.



#7: the "Buddy" class:

This group loves to profess their love for Weed. This class is easily combinable with any other class, simply by adding 420 to any of the examples I’ve given above. this class says, “My identity is centered around some smoke I inhale.” The bud-smokers are friends of
the mafia class, because they both have a rebel theme going on. (Fine. Ok. Sure.) The bud-smokers get a kick out of advertising their illegal behavior because they know they won’t get busted as a result. Common strategies of the bud-smoker center the gamertag around paraphrenalia or the strength of their bud. Hence: bOnGm4sT3r420, DaNKtOKer420, jo1nTLOV3R420, bUddHApHrEaK420, etc. Perhaps the pastry class is a close relative of the bud-smokers..



#6: Activities class:

A little milder than the others is the activities class. These gamers are more casual than some of the other classes, because they want you to know that there’s something really special they enjoy. Their gamertags are the equivalent of the “I’d-rather-be…” kind of bumper sticker. So you get s0cc3rDuD316, DrUMGoD227, hock3y688. This class also includes the deep, existential gamertags that just consist of the names of their cars mazD4_DRiv3R786, fOrDTauRusSHO. This kind of gamertag says, “I’m not really a gamer. My identity is built around sitting in a bucket seat and turning a wheel and pushing my foot against a pedal. Anyway, let me get my juggernaut perk set up…”



#5: Ralph Wiggum and Brick Tamland class:

(I think Brick is what Ralph would be if he grew up and had a career.) These gamers literally announce themselves with their gamertags: iTz_D4nny, iTz_BiLLy, iTz_K4rL. Sometimes they simply apply adjectives to themselves: D4nny_ iz_SIK, BiLLy_iZ_s1k, K4rL_iZ_BAMF. It seems to me that this gamertag serves more to remind Brick that his name is “Brick” than to identify himself to other people. Sometimes this class is indistinguishable from the next class.



#4: There’s the screw-it class:

This kind of gamertag reflects the impatience or the lack of imagination of the gamer. Case 1: “I REALLY NEED TO PLAY RESIDENT EVIL 5 RIGHT NOW, AND I’M

TIRED OF ALL MY IDEAS FOR A GAMERTAG BEING REJECTED BECAUSE THEY’RE ALREADY TAKEN, SO I’M JUST GOING TO PUT IN SOME RANDOM LETTERS AND NUMBERS. hjsbsj57578” Case 2: “What expresses exactly who I am? Bob78399373.” Done and done. “Bring on Halo Wars!”



#3: the shock-jock class:

Their mission is to make you squirm by coming up with a gamertag that’s going to offend your midwestern sensibility. (if you have one.) They would be fans of the Garbage Pail Kids, if they were still around. They are cousins of the mafia class and the Gothic class, although they tend to have more of a sense of humor than either. (The mafia class doesn’t smile, and the Gothic class doesn’t chuckle.) Here you find gamertags like bAbyPunt3r666, kiTT3NkiLL3r, etc.

This class also includes the sexual innuendo subclass. I won’t get into this one, as you can see easily for yourself where this is going. They are definitely shock-jocks, although they share tendencies with both the bud-smoker class and the mafia class.



#2: the Noob hunter class:

Another close cousin of the shock jocks is the noob-hunter class. They are obsessed with proclaiming how they put noobs/newbs in their place.

NOOBsL4Y3r420, NEWB_PWNER, NOOBS_MERKER. This is paradoxical to me, because, if the opponent really is a noob, what’s the big deal in “dominating” him/her? Do you think LeBron James walks around bragging about mopping up some fools in a pickup game down at the YMCA? Hell no. Not worth his time.

Really, the noob-hunter wants to claim that when he/she beats someone in his/her own level, the opponent has been degraded to noob status. I include general boasters in this class, as well: K4RNaGe666, DR_PWNAGE, Ag3NT_oF_KAOS, etc. This class is just a step away from:



#1: the Bulls-eye class:

For the FPS games, in particular, you will find the “bulls-eye” class. However, this class easily has variants across the different types of games.These people are hardly short on self-esteem, or so they’d like you to think, anyway. The MLG-types love this class most of all. They want to advertise their skills in their gamertags, and they are the most passionate about gaming. That is why they earn the number one spot. These gamers choose gamertags like hEaDshOt1997 or sHaDoWsN1p3r_666 or SnipeItuP. Maybe they put their favorite gun–say, the Battle Rifle–in their gamertag XXxdEaDly_BRxXX (the Halo 3 crowd). They are prone to counting obsessively their headshots and sigh deeply and mournfully when their kill/death ratios go down by a hundredth of a point. As noted before, this class loves to engage in irony, sometimes employing noob-toob-like weapons whenever they happen to feel like it. The best way to get “inside their heads” is simply to cite the scoreboard of games in which they have not performed well.



Last edited by §cIoN on Thu Sep 09, 2010 5:12 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : bcuz)
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  Demonicpopcorn on Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:01 pm

I guess im a pastry.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  §cIoN on Thu Sep 09, 2010 8:46 pm

lol you're a Gothic Pastry Razz

I'm a Gothic-Coffee shop-Mobster-Buddy...Very Happy
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  MegaMonkeyChunk on Thu Sep 09, 2010 9:08 pm

You forgot the cute animals class. Who could that have happened?
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  ginga-ninja on Thu Sep 09, 2010 10:46 pm

Emmm... What am I? My PSN i mean (its sean_kelly001 btw)
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  Demonicpopcorn on Thu Sep 09, 2010 10:51 pm

ginga-ninja wrote:Emmm... What am I? My PSN i mean (its sean_kelly001 btw)
#5
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  L4MB on Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:36 am

I wonder where I fit in?
I would classify sean_kelly001 as the "screw it" class. It's not random numbers, but you probably had no luck with just sean_kelly?
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  ginga-ninja on Fri Sep 10, 2010 1:14 am

L4MB wrote:I wonder where I fit in?
I would classify sean_kelly001 as the "screw it" class. It's not random numbers, but you probably had no luck with just sean_kelly?

Well sean_kelly2 would look stupid, so i just put 001 down.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  Hardline Pro on Fri Sep 10, 2010 1:30 am

What am I? GT: Adam429 Suspect

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Unfortunately, Mac Taylor is not in this signature, so Donald Flack Jr. will be representing CSI: NY instead.

Have a question or comment? Do you need help with something? Send me a private message or ask me on Twitter!
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  ginga-ninja on Fri Sep 10, 2010 1:31 am

Hardline Pro wrote:What am I? GT: Adam429 Suspect

Emm.. same as me I guess.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  SeanSim on Fri Sep 10, 2010 2:36 am

Having to constantly read 1337-speak in this post really pissed me off. Just sayin'.

They should have given more examples that were just...examples instead of purposely making them sound retarded. Why "h34ds0t" for EVERY EXAMPLE GAMERTAG?

Evil or Very Mad
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  Its_Ackbar on Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:18 am

I'm too lazy to say what class I'm clearly, obviously, 'in the broad of daylight' obvious class I'm in.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  captaindigbob on Fri Sep 10, 2010 11:05 am

Nice post. I am a #1 if you know the story, but if not, Im just a "screw it" haha
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  CoDfAtHeR123 on Tue Sep 14, 2010 1:13 am

There should be a "Normal Person gamertag", includes people's name's, and original stuff.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  23 : 50 on Tue Sep 14, 2010 3:04 am

Your forgetting the person who uses their name like "Joe" with some numbers. (:
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  ginga-ninja on Tue Sep 14, 2010 3:44 am

Lol. Pout isn't your PSN your friends old one?
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  o0 KEV1N 0o on Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:38 am

You forgot the people who try to have intimidating gamertags without any numbers or alternate capitals, most commonly seen at rank 45+ in Halo 3.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  L4MB on Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:44 am

o0 KEV1N 0o wrote:You forgot the people who try to have intimidating gamertags without any numbers or alternate capitals, most commonly seen at rank 45+ in Halo 3.
I never got even close to that rank. Care to give an example of that GT?
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  23 : 50 on Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:41 am

ginga-ninja wrote:Lol. Pout isn't your PSN your friends old one?

Yup, to lazy to make a new account. Plus she has all the ranks and guns, don't want to work for them again. lol
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  Wheen Your Strange on Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:46 am

23 : 50 wrote:
ginga-ninja wrote:Lol. Pout isn't your PSN your friends old one?

Yup, to lazy to make a new account. Plus she has all the ranks and guns, don't want to work for them again. lol
ZOMG YOUR HERE I LOVE YOU <3 I love you

...you have no sig though Sad
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  23 : 50 on Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:15 am

Wheen Your Strange wrote:
23 : 50 wrote:
ginga-ninja wrote:Lol. Pout isn't your PSN your friends old one?

Yup, to lazy to make a new account. Plus she has all the ranks and guns, don't want to work for them again. lol
ZOMG YOUR HERE I LOVE YOU <3 I love you

...you have no sig though Sad

LOL I never left, just never bothered to sign in because I had things here and there to do.

No worries i'll get around to making one. (:
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  ginga-ninja on Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:04 pm

23 : 50 wrote:
Wheen Your Strange wrote:
23 : 50 wrote:

Yup, to lazy to make a new account. Plus she has all the ranks and guns, don't want to work for them again. lol
ZOMG YOUR HERE I LOVE YOU <3 I love you

...you have no sig though Sad

LOL I never left, just never bothered to sign in because I had things here and there to do.

No worries i'll get around to making one. (:

So are you really busy at work or what?
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  23 : 50 on Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:01 am

ginga-ninja wrote:
23 : 50 wrote:
Wheen Your Strange wrote:
ZOMG YOUR HERE I LOVE YOU <3 I love you

...you have no sig though Sad

LOL I never left, just never bothered to sign in because I had things here and there to do.

No worries i'll get around to making one. (:

So are you really busy at work or what?

Well I can mess around at work but we mostly have meetings on whats next to make and plan it out in small groups. The time that I have to myself is the time when I'm doing something at the computer.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  ginga-ninja on Wed Sep 15, 2010 5:08 pm

23 : 50 wrote:
ginga-ninja wrote:
23 : 50 wrote:

LOL I never left, just never bothered to sign in because I had things here and there to do.

No worries i'll get around to making one. (:

So are you really busy at work or what?

Well I can mess around at work but we mostly have meetings on whats next to make and plan it out in small groups. The time that I have to myself is the time when I'm doing something at the computer.

Coolio.
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Re: 15 Classes of gamertags

Post  23 : 50 on Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:14 am

ginga-ninja wrote:
23 : 50 wrote:
ginga-ninja wrote:

So are you really busy at work or what?

Well I can mess around at work but we mostly have meetings on whats next to make and plan it out in small groups. The time that I have to myself is the time when I'm doing something at the computer.

Coolio.

Indeedie.

(:


Last edited by 23 : 50 on Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:14 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Add smile.)
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