Corrupt A Wish

Granted... but it's made of babies.



I wish I had a cup of coffee right now.

Granted, but the grouchy barista behind the counter puts too much foam and while you're distracted by all the foam, a group of angry lesbians sneaks up behind you and starts wailing on you because you are converting too many lesbians back to heterosexuality. During the fight, you spill your coffee.


I wish that Bill C-391 would just reach royal ascent already.

Granted but you're only allowed to use super soakers.

I wish I didn't spill my coffee.

Granted, but instead of spilling it, you drink it only to find it is actually fermented horse piss. You get such a buzz from it, you put on a cape and try to jump from the Place Ville-Marie thinking you'll fly. You hit the ground so hard, you're body parts fly everywhere within a 2 mile radius.

I wish I could fly.

MegaMonkeyChunk wrote:Granted, but instead of spilling it, you drink it only to find it is actually fermented horse piss. You get such a buzz from it, you put on a cape and try to jump from the Place Ville-Marie thinking you'll fly. You hit the ground so hard, you're body parts fly everywhere within a 2 mile radius.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, you last for an all mighty 20 seconds and at that point you are 20000 feet in the air. Happy landing!

I wish I didn't break my collar bone. Twice.

Granted, you broke it 3 times.

I wish I had some gummy bears right now.

They are pubic hair flavored Gummy Bears.

I wish I had Fall camo/Extended Mags for the Vector.

Sure, but it takes you until November 9th, then you only play Black Ops.
I wish for more hilarious chats like last night.

Granted, but they all happen in your head because you are a schizophrenic.

I wish for more hilarious convos like today only with real people and in the chatbox.

Granted, but it's with your mother.

I wish I was there last night. What happened?

I don't remember.

WTF did I do yesterday?

Marilyn Monroe.

Why the fuck do I have to wear a suit and tie thats 3 sizes to small to school today? For the whole fucking day?

I wish people didn't get confused and start thinking this was the "Ask the person below you a question" thread.

Granted, but it then turns into the "Ban the person above you" thread.

I wish I sucked at trolling so I wouldn't do it as much.

Wish granted, but you lost all your fingers in a chainsaw juggling accident, and you can't type.

I wish gamefly would give me Reach soon.

Granted, but it comes to you in pieces and you end up having to pay for it.


I wish Black Ops wont fail as hard or harder than I expect.

Granted, you realize how stupid you are for caring about realism in a cod game, and the game turns great.

I wish for a wish, again.

Granted, but the wish is to not get raped by a rhinosarus, which then gets corrupted and you get raped by 2 rhinosarus.

I wish for a drugs.

Granted but you dont have enough money to pay for it.

I wish for a Monster drink right now.

Granted, but it drinks you.

I wish for an ultra mega gay 12 way with 11 other Puerto Rican guys.

Granted, but its with 11 black guys.

I wish I didn't have to take two gym classes this year.

Granted, you have to take over 9000!!!

I wish I wasn't so constipated. I'm typing this on a toilet!!

Granted, but then you get the worst case of explosive diarrhea.

I wish today wont be as shitty as the rest of my weekend.

Granted, but the rest of your life is shitty.

I wish I pulled the trigger!!!